oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
