Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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