Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
