I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
