I can text with my tongue
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
