is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
