Are we in a gay sports bar?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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