There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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