so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
