On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
