I just pynch a tree in the face
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
