He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
