Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
