Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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