if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
