We're facebook friends in real life
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
