Welp...herpes.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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