3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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