so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
