how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
