Michael Bay diarrhea
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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