Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
im holly from the hills drunk
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
