Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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