What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
