none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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