Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
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