I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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