tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
