it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
