Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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