that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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