that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
