i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
