maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
