on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
