when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
