"it" just moved
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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