Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
as a side note pls kill me
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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