you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She even gives head with a lisp.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
