she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
