I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
