you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
