I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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