we're blogging at a bar
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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