You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
