as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
