Whatcha textin bout Willis?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
