There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My dick has a subreddit
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
