you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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