i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
