Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
